People Magazine, July 3, 1995

Talking With... Natalie Merchant

Mourning the vibrant River Phoenix
by Jeremy Helligar


Natalie Merchant made her solo debut even more of a high-wire act by producing as well as performing. "There were times I felt it was like a 2,000-pound weight on my back," says Merchant, 31. "It's an amazing triumph that I still like any of these songs."

What prompted you to leave 10,000 Maniacs at its peak?

I had been collaborating with the same group since age 17 - people from the same town [Jamestown, NY] I was from. I moved to Woodstock in 1988, but everyone else stayed in Jamestown. To work with the Maniacs, I had to return to the the town it was my goal to escape as a teenager. I felt I was backpedaling every time I had to go there to rehease.

Your new songs, like River, seem more personal, less political. Why?

I feel I am most successful as a songwriter when I just look at people and tell their stories. I didn't know River Phoenix that well, but his death struck me powerfully. I thought, "There's someone who was a kindred spirit." Somebody whom I always wanted to spend time with but never got to. [Their friendship was mostly by phone.] The few times we spent together, he inspired me to push out boundaries. He had such a vibrant personality. I felt cheated when he died.

How do your old songs sound to you now?

Embarrasssing. I was just so young. I feel like someone is peeling all my clothing off and I'm standing in Times Square and everyone is pointing at me.